literature

Dreams: I Want To Hold Your Hand...

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LinkNZeldaForever's avatar
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Literature Text

 i had a dream last night.  i do not remember what it all entailed, i rarely ever do..., but most of my dreams are nightmares at best.  Ever since You left, i have been nothing but sad and depressed.  i always wake up crying or not even breathing from my dreams...

 But this dream was different.  The part that i remember the most and which was the best part, was only a few seconds long...  And it was something so simple, but brought such happiness.  And most people will laugh or raise an eyebrow, thinking me totally crazy.  Which they're probably right... You, on the other hand, will probably just roll Your beautiful eyes as You normally do...

 And when i say simple and such a wonderful dream about You, please do not misunderstand me.  This was not sexual in nature, You were not even stripping.  You were fully clothed in a pink or purple sweater, (A colour in between, it was not quite one or the other.) and blue jeans with sneakers.  Your hair was down and you were just sitting, as was I, across from me.  It was not like we were making out or anything, we did not even kiss.  All that happened... and this is the most ridiculous part... was that i held out my hand to You and You took it, holding it.  And for a brief second you even gripped it tightly, smiling Your familiar sweet warm smile...

 That's it.  Nothing more, nothing less.  Something so simple and probably every day mundane for most people, that they would not even think twice about it.  But in those ten brief seconds, it felt like all the darkness that has overshadowed me, was cast aside.  All my sickness healed.  Like You were my Guardian Angel once more and watching over me.  In those five seconds of actual contact and maybe a second where you actually gripped my hand, it felt like euphoria, bliss, Heaven, Shangri-La, the most amazing feeling ever! And it was just because of You.

 It felt like You were letting me know You were there and it made me realize in the dream, since i realize this every day anyway, that nothing else mattered.  It felt like You were pumping warm blood from your heart, back into my broken and destroyed one.  i could feel a warmth that i could not explain and wished would never end.  It did not burn, i know what that feels like, You have burnt me before...  No, this was just a very welcoming feeling.  The power so great that it actually woke me up.  And for a few seconds, i registered something i had not known i could even do in real life any more and on my own... I smiled...  I had the biggest grin that I can ever remember.  And all just from dreaming of You holding my hand.....
This is a true story, although it was more like months ago, since I just barely finished this today. I actually had had a good feeling all that day, much better than the dark cloud and pestilence that seems to follow me every where I go. Sadly, however, reality always catches up... I know it was just a dream and I will never get that happiness I once had... not even a simple sweet smile or a loving hand held, that others take so much for granted or would not even miss from You.....
© 2013 - 2024 LinkNZeldaForever
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